So, during the week, I scheduled a lot of personal appointments, which I think hindered me from running at night. Plus, I didn't home until relatively late in the evening so I didn't get enough sleep and chose sleep over a morning run. I did run Tuesday morning and rolled my ankle on an acorn about a mile into my four mile run. I powered through and finished. However, I was so exhausted for the rest of the day since I had gotten up a 4am to do the long run. Needless to say, I was tired and did not run the 8 miles on Wednesday. I had another appointment Wednesday night and didn't get back until late in the evening so Thursday's morning run did not happen. And, I figured that it'd be better to rest on Friday then try to make up for the 13 miles I failed to run Wednesday and Thursday.
Our long run this week was 12 miles and I've done 12 miles on numerous occasions so I figured that I would survive it for sure especially since I survived 18.5 with minimal issue last weekend. Ha, little did I know.
To be honest, I almost did not run this morning. I really did not feel like it at all and my dad wasn't coming either so that made it even more tempting to skip it. I was out late at my sister's birthday dinner and again, failed to get enough sleep. And, I didn't get ready until really late this morning so I didn't have time to properly eat or warm up before the long run.
This morning, we ran along the Middlefork Savanna, which is near Lake Forest. The trail itself was OK, but there were parts that were really tight and I just was uncomfortable running so close to the other runners today. I have a hard time staying in a straight line and I was worried about bumping into people or being bumped into. Also, I rolled my ankles 3 times on various dips and grooves in the trail. That definitely threw off my focus so I had to spend some time looking down at the ground to make sure I didn't stumble over anything. Not fun.
I was feeling pretty good for the first half of the run. We took a little break at Mile 6 and I had a Vanilla Bean GU Energy Gel, which is had caffeine in it. This was a mistake. Also, I didn't wash it down with water since I had some Nuun (electrolyte tablets) in my water bottle instead. This was another mistake.
I started to lose it between Miles 7.5 and 8. We reached a hydration station and I really just felt like shit. Mentally, I was out of focus, my right ITB was pulling (nothing severe enough to throw off my gait but still annoying nonetheless) and my hips felt tight. I just really wanted to stop, but we still had another 4 miles to go.
Also, my stomach decided to start churning at this point thanks to the stupid GU with caffeine. I figured that I could still finish the run since we only had 4 left to go. I've finished runs having to go to the bathroom before and I've managed to hold it in long enough to make it.
Unfortunately, this was not the case for me and I really lost it at the 10 mile mark. One woman in our group had already started to walk so our group leader went back to walk with her. My running friend, E. had fallen a little back to and she was walking by me. She decided to run and our group leader went with her. I tried to keep up and I ran for a little bit, but then I really had to walk since my stupid stomach had developed a mind of its own. And, it only wanted to do that one thing and that one thing only. Running just make it worse. So, I figured that I would just start walking before I had an accident.
The woman that started walking earlier caught up to me and we walked the last 2 miles together. I felt like shit (literally and figuratively) and I almost pulled off into the woods to do it there and get it over with. Also, I spotted a porta-potty on the highway by this construction area and I almost ran there to get it done, but I decided to try to hold it as best as I could.
Once we got back to Old School I knew that we were close to I just held on for dear life and made it safely back to the bathroom.
I bumped into other runners for my group who asked me how I was and I told them that quite frankly I felt like shit and just was out of it. Another runner from another pace group told me that it is better that I felt like shit on a cut back week as opposed to feeling like this on a longer run.
We have to run 18 next week and to be honest, I am terrified. I failed to finish the 12. What if I can't finish the 18 next week? Also, the intermediate runners are supposed to run 20. There is no way in hell I am going to run 20 especially if we have an organized 20 miler scheduled a few weeks from that time. That's just too damn much.
Right now, I feel like shit about my training and I know damn well that I'm not doing enough and right now, I really doubt if my ass is even going to get to that starting line (let alone finish the fucking thing) since it's having such a hard time now.
I need to re-group and get it together. I still have time and I can get this done. I know that I would be so disappointed in myself if I didn't at least show up to the marathon and give it my best shot. I've learned so much with my training and I've met some great people. I don't want to give up on myself right now just because I had a bad week and a bad long run. I know that I can do this. I just have to find it within myself to keep pushing and get back on the boat in terms of the weekly runs. I felt so much better last week and I know that it was because I ran during the week.
So, the adventure continues next week. Hopefully I'll have better things to report!