The marathon is only a few weeks away and I'm debating on bailing out and not running the race.
My training hasn't gone as well as I would like it to. And, I missed the crucial 20 mile run, which was on September 16th. And, to be honest, I missed it for no good reason at all. I just didn't feel like running it so I didn't. I didn't even attempt to make up for it and run 20 miles at home by myself. Nope, I skipped that completely.
And, do I feel bad about it? Yes, in the sense that I'm screwed for the marathon. My longest runs have been 18.5 miles and 18 miles. I ran the 18 back in the beginning of the month.
However, I don't feel bad about it because the things I put ahead of my running were more important to me. Those things I put ahead of running needed to be done. And I feel better that I did them.
I read a bunch of stuff on the running forums of people who also missed their 20 mile runs and it seems like running 20 is a mental thing - achieving the distance - knowing that you ran that far and that long. If you run 20, you can run 26.2. However, there are people than only ran 18 (or even less) and managed to run 26.2. Whether or not they ran it with issue is one thing, but nevertheless, they were able to finish the run.
In all honestly, I don't care about my time anymore. There's no way I'm going to achieve my time goal with my inability to get my rear in gear and train properly. Plus, I'm not even sure if I can say that I will finish since my ITBs are a mess.
I didn't run or do my exercises for 5 days and they were super tight. My PT massaged them and rolled them out on Tuesday and they hurt so bad after. Ugh.
This week, I've run 9.05 miles Tuesday night and another 5.02 Thursday night. I'm going to attempt to get up early and run before the Bears game. But then again, sleeping in and making sure I'm rested for the game probably is a better idea than waking up at the ass crack of dawn to get some mileage in.
My Sunday morning run, at this point, is a game time decision. We'll see how tonight goes.
And, as for the marathon, eh, I paid for it so I'm still planning on showing up. I mean, I would really be super upset with myself if I didn't give it a try. If my ITBs start acting up and throwing off my gait, then I will consider bagging it and dropping out of the race. But, hopefully I'll be able to make it.
The weather looks like it'll be good so hopefully I'll be able to finish. But honestly, I don't really know if I want to anymore.
Anyone who knows me has heard me talk about running a marathon and how it's something that I REALLY want to do. However, I don't know if I feel the same way about it anymore. Right now, I want it to be October 8th so the marathon will be all over.
I hope to run it and finish, but honestly, with my lack of training and poor attitude, I'm not sure if I can do this.
What do you all think? Any suggestions on what I should do or can do?